Anger in Different Roles according to Islamic Perspective: A Qualitative Inquiry

1. INTRODUCTION

Anger is an emotionally charged feeling that often leads to adverse impacts; therefore the concept of anger has remained a significant topic of discussion in different realms of life (Naz, 2015). In general, anger is a complex emotional state marked by increased physiological arousal, often accompanied by feelings of hostility and blame. It is frequently triggered by frustrating or provocative situations (Sukhodolsky et al., 2016).

According to cognitive-behavioral theories, such as those espoused by Beck (1976), anger stems from the dysfunctional information processing and can be modulated through the use of cognitive and behavioral techniques. Lings (1984) have emphasized that external and relational influences contribute significantly to the expression of anger. Parenting styles significantly impact children's emotional development, particularly their ability to manage anger. Research indicates that parenting approaches influence how children regulate their emotions and resolve conflicts (Norona & Baker, 2016).

Anger according to religious point-of-view separates man from himself and from the Higher Being. Different religions talk about this existential emotion of anger. For instance, Christians and non-Christians deal with emotional challenges including anger with spirituality and religion that contribute to effective anger management. From a spiritual context, cognition and emotion are intricately associated with mindset and spirit. Religious education focuses on consciousness and constantly talks about awareness of the body and the mind and the ability to control it. Hatred or false righteousness or anything else of such nature is described as obstacle to spirituality (Crane, 2002).

Buddhist teachings greatly emphasized on positive thinking and anger management through the practice of meditation (Hardy, 2023). Similarly, Hinduism encourages yoga and meditation to strive for balance between mind and spirit (Chopra, 2009).

Typically, these religion-centric practices put in emphasis on personal spirituality which encompasses peacefulness, self-reflection, and impulse among many other things. These practices are believed to change negative learning networks and help the individual to develop positive behavioral patterns and positive states of mind. In Quran and Hadith, there is a very wide coverage on the aspect of anger that needs to be further explored (Lutfi & Haris, 2021). Anger relates to cognitive processes, attitudes, emotions, ethical values, situational factors, family upbringing, and temperament (Harmon-Jones, 2004).

Individuals in positions of authority are afforded greater latitude in expressing their emotions, particularly anger. This phenomenon is supported by theories suggesting that high status is often considered a prerequisite for anger expression (Averill, 1997). Recent empirical evidence corroborates this link, revealing that higher-status individuals are more likely to both experience and exhibit anger compared to their lower-status counterparts (Porat & Paluck, 2024).

Anger can emerge in a variety of roles and circumstances, generally influenced by the person's specific responsibilities, expectations, and dynamics. For example, a parent may grow enraged when their adolescent child routinely disobeys them (Eisenberg, 2008; Williams, 2017). In such a case, the parent may raise their voice, give severe warnings, or implement disciplinary measures, such as grounding or removing privileges. This type of anger is frequently motivated by concerns about the child's safety and well-being, as well as displeasure at perceived disrespect or disobedience (Benson et al., 2011).

The parental position involves a protective impulse and a desire to exercise discipline, which can increase the emotional response when such goals are threatened (Šimić et al., 2021). Parental rage is typically caused by children's behavior that is considered to be challenging parents' authority or violating family rules. When children repeatedly disregard rules, it not only frustrates parents but also raises long-term concerns about their development and safety (Liu et al., 2022). In such a case, parental rage is used as both an emotional reaction and a regulatory technique to punish, conduct, and reinforce family rules (Dix et al., 2004).

The spiritual aspect in the context of parenting and personality implies the building of personal character on the model of good and kind qualities, such as patience and loving concern. It is important for parents to tackle their own anger problems, else their children may fall to the same temptations (Thich, 2002). When telling their children how to deal with anger, Islamic teachings also mandate that parents should display appropriate behaviors, especially patience and self-control (Al-Ghazali, 2015).

Anger can manifest itself in a variety of ways at work. A boss, for example, may become quite frustrated when a team member frequently misses deadlines, risking key projects. The boss's rage is frequently motivated by the pressure to accomplish organizational objectives, the responsibility for team performance, and the necessity to maintain productivity and dependability standards (Spector & Fox, 2002). Workplace anger can stem from personal arguments, alleged unfairness, and a lack of fulfillment, all of which are compounded by the stress and pressure that comes with managerial jobs.

On the contrary, an employee may become angry when their efforts are not appreciated, particularly if they are overlooked for a promotion. The rage in this scenario is frequently motivated by sentiments of undervaluation and unfairness. According to Fitness (2000), employee rage is usually associated with views of unfair treatment and a lack of recognition, both of which can damage job satisfaction and loyalty to the company. Employees may express anger differently depending on the roles they are playing. They often expect their leaders not to lose their temper when making decisions about giving incentives and maintaining peace. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was a man of peace and always remained calm and composed in even the most extreme situations (Lings, 1984).

Teachers in educational environments may become angered when students disrupt their sessions, impeding the learning process. This can lead to them raising their voices to restore order, enforcing harsher classroom rules, or issuing detentions. The teacher's rage is frequently a combination of frustration over disturbed lesson plans and worry for maintaining an effective learning environment (Hargreaves, 2000). Teachers' emotional responses, including rage, are inextricably linked to their professional identity and dedication to student achievement.

Pekrun et al. (2002) found that students' academic emotions, including anger, are impacted by their beliefs of fairness, control, and worth in the educational setting. Among siblings, Islam encourages maintaining good relations through empathy and patience, resolving conflicts immediately, and forgiving each other, as illustrated by the story of Prophet Joseph and his brothers (Quran 12:1-100).

People in a spousal relationship may become furious if their significant other continually forget crucial dates or arrangements. This might lead to emotional outbursts, conflicts, addressing the matter to find a solution, or looking at marital counseling. Anger in marital relationship is frequently linked to emotions of neglect and the value of emotional connection. According to Gottman & Levenson (2000), rage in romantic relationships is frequently a result of perceived breaches of trust and emotional neglect, which may threaten the marriage stability and enjoyment. In friendships, a person may become angry when a friend is constantly involved in breach of trust and boundaries. A reciprocal expectation of reliability, trust, and support have a significant impact on friendship dynamics, with breakdowns of these expectations frequently resulting in anger and conflict (Altalib, 2001).

Healthcare employees, such as nurses, may become angry when a patient's family member accuses them of failing to provide proper care despite their best efforts. This type of fury is typically caused by a conflict between their devotion to patient's care and the difficulty of dealing with demanding or ungrateful family members. Glasberg et al. (2007) found that moral discomfort and emotional tiredness are key factors to rage among healthcare workers as they manage the complexities of patient care and family relations. Similarly, a law enforcement officer may become agitated if a suspect continually lies during an interview. This rage can lead to more intense interrogations, harsh warnings, or the issue being escalated to higher authorities. Toch (2002) found that law enforcement officer's anger is typically sparked by perceived dishonesty, violation, and the risky nature of their employment, which requires both power and empathy.

In the context of religious and spiritual thinking, leaders have argued that the source of anger is ego and that the only way to overcome anger that arises from different social divisions is to be humble, forgiven, and merciful. Instead of acting as one would when angry or upset, it is essential to encourage people to take positive and constructive actions instead of letting them indulge in instances of venting their moral outrage (Shapiro, 2016). Al-Ghazzali's Tazkiya Nafs model discusses to manage diseases of heart and soul, where anger being one of the diseases needs to be explored in detail.

In general, the expression of anger in different positions has a connection to ones respective duties, expectations, and tensions. The way anger is expressed and handled may have a significant impact on both the person experiencing it and others around them. In all of these positions, displays of rage can range from verbal and nonverbal cues to more direct actions aimed at resolving the source of the problem. The surroundings and connections have a significant influence on how anger is perceived and managed. According to the research on emotion regulation, effective anger management is essential for maintaining personal well-being and healthy relationships (Miller, 2018).

Anger has been conceptualized as an emotion that has survival value but also the same emotion that can result in personal to massive destruction and riot. It is about the context of anger, as well as purpose of the angry person that makes the difference in impact (DiGiuseppe & Tafrate, 2007). Western concepts do not encapsulate the holistic factors and thus neglect the important social and religious perspective (Hays & Iwamasa, 2006). There is a dire need of getting the religious perspective of emotions and issues, such as that of anger, so people in general and clients specifically can relate themselves with it (Kristeller, 2015). Although a lot of work on anger has been done but having authentic references of Quran and Hadiths from learned scholars and their view-points based on Islamic guidelines regarding anger in different settings and roles are of crucial importance. There are a lot of misconceptions regarding religious anger, so there is a need of qualitative study taking into account the view of authentic people (Muslim scholars) to clear such misconceptions. Thus, this study can clear misconceptions regarding anger in different roles and can give clear perspective on when, where, and under what conditions Islam allows and, in some cases, even promotes anger. This study can help clinical psychologist in guiding their Muslim clients regarding anger in different roles. It can give researchers a new insight and way forward to explore management strategies in this domain.

Dysfunctional anger is the kind of anger that doesn't enable a person to retain control over himself/herself and creates problems in personal, social, and occupational life of an individual. I, the researcher of the study has found it as a major issue effecting mental health of the majority of people. Religious and cultural values hold a major pertinent part of individual's life and affects its way of interpreting and finding ways to deal with issues. I think that the Western concepts of anger in interpersonal roles differ slightly and align more with Islamic concepts.

The study aimed to identify Islamic guidelines of anger for people in different roles.

What is Islam's perspective/guidelines about anger in different personal and social roles?

Methodology

A qualitative research design was employed to explore the Islamic guidelines of anger in different roles.

Constructivism research paradigm was used to explore guidelines of Islam through interviews and thematic analysis regarding anger in different roles as per the knowledge of Muslim scholars. Aim of constructivist paradigm is understanding and reconstruction of the constructions that people (including the inquirer) initially hold, aiming towards consensus but still open to new interpretations as information and sophistication improve (Carr & Kemmis, 1986; as cited in Guba & Lincoln, 1994). Since it is a basic qualitative study and such basic/generic studies are epistemologically social constructivist (Merriam, 2002).

Criterion sampling, as a type of purposive sampling was used. Heads of different educational and religious institutes were asked to refer participants that is scholars who meet the criteria in order to ensure objectivity in the recruitment of participants.

Sixteen scholars (9 males and 7 females) were interviewed. Demographic characteristics revealed that 10 out of 16 participants were young adults (age range 21-35), while 6 were middle-aged (40-55 years). The sample size of 16 was accurate as according to Crouch and McKenzie (2006), sample size of less than 20 participants increases validity of the research.

The sample was selected on the basis of the following characteristics.

Following is the inclusion criteria.

• Muslim Scholars having specialization in Quran and Ahadis (completed 'Aalim' course after Master's degree, Al-Aalmiyaa) were interviewed.
• Scholars following Fiqah-e-Hanfia were approached.
• Those having PhD in Islamic studies (Al-Quran and Al-Hadith) and have experience of teaching and research supervision of minimum 5 years in religious universities (Jamiaat) recognized by HEC, namely University of the Punjab, Islamia University, Minhaj-ul-Quran University, and others were approached.
• Scholars guiding people about their issues including anger were selected.

Following is the exclusion criteria.

• Scholars of other sects were not taken.
• Amil who practice black magic were not part of the study.

The questions in the interview guide were formulated by reading literature to figure out the different domains which the research aimed to explore. It was reviewed by two independent researchers and their suggestions were incorporated. Before conducting research on scholars, it was pilot tested on one scholar to access its comprehensibility and ease of understanding.

A guideline for interview was made that included open-ended main question, sub-questions, and probes. Scholars were also asked about references from Quran and Sunnah, as well as from their interaction with those people who approached them for their issues. Following questions were asked during in-person interviews.

Q. What is Islam's perspective about anger in different roles? / What guidelines does Islam provide regarding anger for people in different roles?

Q 1. What are the major roles in which Islam provides guidelines regarding anger?

Q 2. When and how does Islam allow anger for people in different roles?

Q 3. When and how does Islam prohibit anger in different roles?

Understanding anger and its expression:

• · In light of Quran
• · In light of Hadith
• · As per incidents in Islamic history
• · As per their experience of guiding people having anger issues

Religious scholars were interviewed to get knowledge about the concept of anger and the way it is expressed according to Islamic viewpoint. Written consent was taken from Muslim scholars before conducting the in-depth interviews. The voluntary participation of the scholars was ascertained to get insight about the sensitive religious context. Each interview lasted approximately 45-60 minutes. Audio recordings of the interviews were made, which were later transcribed, coded, and categorized. During the process, themes and sub-themes were identified after analyzing the categories emerged from the data. References were rechecked from original sources and were reviewed by other scholars. The verbatims of the study participants were translated into English language with the assistance of expert and the references quoted by participants, both from Quran and Hadith were verified by the authentic translations of Quran and Hadith.

Topic approval and research permissions were taken from Ethical Review Committee of the Institution. To collect data from religious and educational institutes, permissions from the concerning authorities of respective institutions was taken. After taking informed consent for the study, participants were briefed about some of the main objectives and sensitivity of the study. Emphasis was given on accurately quoting Islamic references and sharing the Islamic knowledge that is up to the best of their knowledge.

Thematic analysis was used to analyze the data after transcribing and coding it. The data was closely examined to code them, which eventually clubbed into sub-themes. Final themes were emerged that included the ones with common themes topics, ideas, and patterns of meaning that come up repeatedly (Braun & Clarke, 2006).

According to Cresswell (2007), qualitative researchers engage in at least two of the validity checks in any given study. To validate the study, following validity checks were used.

Triangulation

In triangulation, researchers make use of multiple and different sources, methods, investigators, and theories to provide corroborating evidence (Cresswell, 2007). In the above study, data was collected not only from interviews but through Quran, Hadith books, and works of Muslim scholars.

It is referred to as the most crucial technique for establishing credibility (Rodda et al., 2024). In the current study, scholars were shown the transcribed data to ensure that their provided information has been accurately described.

Peer review or debriefing provides an external check of the research process (Rodda et al., 2024). In the current study, another researcher was asked to provide written feedback about the whole process and suggestions were incorporated to establish the credibility of data. Also, references were given to two other Muslim scholars for review and correction of mistakes in meanings extracted from participants' verbatim and references of Quran and Hadith.

In addition to these points, inter-rater reliability is high since different scholars having various backgrounds and institutes shared same references (mentioned in results section) and gave same or similar context to the Quranic Ayahs and Hadiths. Moreover, researcher's own positionality and potential biasness was reduced by these.

Results

Thematic analysis resulted in 3 sub-themes, namely anger in authority, anger in parent’s role, and anger in spousal role.

This sub-theme explains how Islam has directed the people, who are in authority or managerial position, regarding anger and its management. In authority, Islam teaches us to have accepting and forgiving behavior with servants as Participant 4 quoted a hadith supporting this:

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: A man came to the Prophet صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم and asked: Messenger of Allah! how often shall I forgive a servant? He gave no reply, so the man repeated what he had said, but he still kept silence. When he asked a third time, he replied: Forgive him seventy times daily. (Sunan Abu Dawood#5164)

Prophet (SAW) gave the best practical example of having kind attitude with subordinates/ servants. The practical examples of emotional control were demonstrated by Prophet (SAW). He had always kept in consideration the age and intention of servants; therefore, never took actions against them even if they didn’t abide by him mistakenly. It is evident by an incident quoted by Participants 2, 4, and 13:

حَدَّثَنَا س۔۔۔۔۔: وَاللهِ

Hazrat Anas b. Malik reported:

I served the Messenger of Allah ( ‌صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم ‌ ) for ten years, and, by Allah, he never said to me any harsh word, and he never said to me about a thing as to why I had done that and as to why I had not done that. Abu Rabi' has made this addition (in this narration):   The work which a servant should do.   There is no mention of his words   By Allah  (Sahih Muslim#6011 )

There is an incident where the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) asked Hazrat Anas (RA) to do something, but he refused and went off to play. The Prophet (PBUH) went to the market, did the task himself, and didn’t scold Hazrat Anas (RA).

Islam teaches us that if someone is in authority then he has more responsibility of manifesting anger at right place. Hazrat Umer (RA) was leader and had authority but on being accountable, rather than showing anger, he explained it in a kind manner. Participant 8 highlighted it as follows:

In another incident of Hazrat Umar (RA), someone pointed out that his cloak couldn’t have been switched from just one piece of cloth and accused him of dishonesty, saying a dishonest person cannot be a leader. Hazrat Umar (RA) did not get angry but calmly explained the situation.

In another incidence, Participants 5 and 13 mentioned how Hazrat Umar (RA) being in authoritative position, dealt with behavior of ignorant person according to a Quranic verse.

Uyaina, said to Hazrat Umar (RA),

O the son of Al-Khattab! By Allah, you neither give us sufficient provision nor judge among us with justice.   On that `Umar became so furious that he intended to harm him. Al-Hurr, said, O Chief of the Believers!   Allah said to His Apostle 'Hold to forgiveness, command what is good (right), and leave the foolish (i.e. do not punish them).' (7.199) and this person is among the foolish.   By Allah, `Umar did not overlook that Verse when Al-Hurr recited it before him, and `Umar said to observe (the orders of) Allah's Book strictly.   (Sahih Bukhari#7286)

Participants 2 and 14 shared that Prophet (SAW) was so forgiving when he had the authority and hence, announced forgiveness for all at the time of conquest of Makkah.

The Prophet (PBUH) said, “I will say what my brother Yusuf (Joseph) said to his brothers: 'There is no blame on you today.'” With this, the Prophet (PBUH) reassured everyone, saying that no one would be held accountable or criticized. (Kimyae-Sa’adat, pg 492)

Participants reported that companions of Prophet (SAW) used to not only control their anger and forgive but also did ehsan (favour/courtesy), when having authority in personal matters. Most of the participants (12) quoted the following example while talking about instructions regarding anger control with servants in Quran:

There is also an incident of Hazrat Zainul Abidin (RA), who had a servant girl helping him with ablution (washing). The water container slipped from her hands and injured his face. He looked up at her, and she recited the verse: "And those who restrain their anger." (Surah Al-e-Imran, verse 134). Hazrat Zainul Abidin (RA) replied, “I have restrained my anger.” Then she recited the next part of same ayah: "And those who forgive people." He said, “I forgive you, and may Allah forgive you as well.” Then she recited the final part: "And Allah loves those who give extra favor/ ehsan." Hearing this, Hazrat Zainul Abidin (RA) said, “You are free.”.  (Shob-ul-Iman, 317).

It is important to have humility and self-awareness when in power, which includes not being revengeful and have pride. Participant 5 shared the views that Islam asks us not to be revengeful even in power/ authority by quoting example of Hazrat Muhammad (SAW).

Narrated Anas bin Malik (RA):… a bedouin came upon the Prophet and pulled his garment so violently that I could recognize the impress of the hem of the garment on his shoulder. Then the bedouin said, Order for me something from Allah's Fortune which you have. The Prophet turned to him and smiled, and ordered that a gift be given to him. (Sahih Bukhari#3149). He was not an ordinary person; he ruled Madinah for ten years still he responded so calmly…

One form of being in authority is taking position of a judge which is the most critical position because of the excessive responsibility attached to it. It is not advisable to give verdict as a judge in the state of anger as there would be greater chances of making wrong decisions in that state. As narrated by the Participant 3: “If you are a judge, you should not make decisions when angry because then there is a greater chance of making the wrong decision”.

Participant 6 also quoted that even in authority controlling anger is imperative as otherwise would make one accountable on the Day of Judgment. Vicious cycle of anger in authority has also been explained, that is when authority is challenged by some trigger, one gets angry and devil provokes and induces pride in the person and he oppresses the other. Following this, the other person takes revenge and that is how anger cycle continues.

Imam Ghazali (RA) narrated an incident where someone spoke harshly to Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz (RA). He lowered his head and said, “Do you want to make me angry so that Satan can lead me to arrogance and pride in my power, causing me to oppress you and make you seek revenge against me? That will never happen.” He then remained silent (kimiya-e- saadat,, pg. 597)

The reason behind this utmost control over anger was knowing about the divine rewards and fear of indulging in behaviors that result in Allah’s annoyance as Participant 6 discussed about Allah’s reward of Iman/faith on controlling anger when in power (Hadith):

Narrated Muadh ibn Jabal: The Messenger of Allah صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم said: if anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes. Abu Dawud said: The name if the transmitter Abu Marhum is Abdur-Rahman bin Maimun (Sunan Abu Dawood#4777)

One important way to control anger with servants is to keep consequences of uncontrolled anger in mind and remembering Allah’s control on us. To explain this point, Participant 11 quoted an incident:

Abu Mas'ud al-Badri reported: “.. Holy Prophet said: Bear in mind, Abu Mas'ud; verily Allah has more dominance upon you than you have upon your slave. I (then) said: I would never beat my servant in future”. (Sahih Muslim#4306)

Participant 9 also reported that Allah says:

 “O My servant! You have power over My servants, but I have more power over you. If you oppress My servants out of anger, you will face My wrath on the Day of Judgment.”

Participant 5 reported that it is important to show some level of anger for discipline and corrective measures but this has to be in limits for which one can give reminders to control anger when in management.

A certain controlled level of anger is necessary for management. I tell my staff to recite the verse “And those who restrain their anger and forgive people” or the hadith “Do not get angry, and Paradise will be yours.” So, one can put this verse in front of you as a reminder.

Participant reflected that individuals who are in-charge of something or at managerial position, need to keep in mind that with authority comes responsibility.

This section explains how Islam has given guidelines about the levels of anger with servants. Islam directs us to display accepting, tolerating, and forgiving behavior with servants since, one is accountable for acts with servants in front of Allah. Religious scholars provide guidelines regarding the display of and control of anger towards servants in terms of reward and punishment. One can control anger by remembering its consequences and giving self-reminders.

This section covers the Islamic guidelines for anger control when one is in parental role.

Islam teaches us to be kind and compassionate with children. Hadith quoted by Participant 7 in this regard is as follows:

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ ۔۔، ‏‏‏‏‏‏فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا .

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As: “The Prophet صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم said: Those who do not show mercy to our young ones and do not realise the right of our elders are not from us”. (Sunan Abu Dawood#4943)

According to Participant 11, Prophet’s (SAW) love for children is evident through the following example: “When Hazrat Hasan and Husain (RA) were on the Prophet's (PBUH) shoulders, he would make his prostrations longer.”

The above scripts show that Islam teaches us to be very gentle and kind with children but parents can be angry with children for various reasons, such as to inculcate Islamic teachings in order to teach them moral and ethical values, for Tarbiyat/ character building, and for disciplining children.

Scholars have highlighted the point that display of anger for connection with Allah is so important that Prophet (SAW) has asked parents to be strict with children to inculcate Islamic teachings as Scholar 6 quoted:

حَدَّثَنَا مُؤَمَّلُ۔۔ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ .

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As: “The Messenger of Allah صلی ‌اللہ ‌علیہ ‌وسلم said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately” (Sunan Abu Dawood#495)

The above hadith shows that providing instructions is a prefferred way for character building (tarbiyat) and making an individual learn something as compare to a direct and abrupt display of anger or intense punishment. Throwing light on the significance of following such religious practices, Participants 4, 5, and 8 quoted similar examples.Participant 8 narrateded:

A close friend of mine shared that when we were at the dining table, her mother would ask, "Who has prayed the Isha prayer?" If any child hadn’t prayed yet, she would tell them, "You can’t eat dinner until you pray Isha." Similarly, if someone hadn’t prayed Fajr, they wouldn’t get breakfast. This practice became so ingrained in them that as soon as it was prayer time, they would pray.

Therefore, it can be said that anger can be displayed to train children for religious practices, as well as ethical and social values as Participant 5 shared view on this. “You have to do character building of children. If they don’t pray, don’t do their schoolwork, lie, or don’t observe modesty, you must get angry with them!”

Participant 4 also emphasized upon this and said:

If the goal is to bring your children closer to religious teachings, then a certain level of anger set by religion is permissible. For moral training, if necessary, you can get angry to stop someone from wrong-doing like bullying someone, smoking, using drugs, or getting engaged in bad behavior.

In parent-child communication and relationship, difference of opinion, grievance, and as a result, anger is natural. Participant 8 expressed this in following words: “Like all relationships, there will inevitably be disagreements and anger between parents and children, but it’s important to manage it appropriately. Manifest the level of anger that is necessary for character building of children.”

Training and giving corrective measures is the responsibility of parents so, in order to correct children’s wrong acts, they can manifest justified anger. Participants 1 and 7 highlighted that anger in parent’s role can be for the training/ tarbiat of children. “We should be mindful of what children watch, listen to, and do. If they make mistakes, a little anger is okay”. “The basic responsibility for raising children lies with the parents so for this if one shows anger on just thing then that is acceptable”.

Parents can also show anger for discipling children and developing good habits in them as Participants 1 and 3 shared the following views: “Anger can be used to discipline children, to stop them from bad behavior, and to teach them good habits”. “If children are not being disciplined and explaining things doesn’t work then one can show anger just to discipline them and correct their habits”.

Parents get angry because they expect from children and want their betterment as Participant 4 said: “You see, when a mother gets angry, it's because she has expectations from her child. Her anger is also for the children’s benefit”.

However, it is important to determine the level of anger even in parental role. For only an appropriate level is considered justified to exercise for upbringing, guidance, and character development of children. As expressed by Participant 8 in following words: “Parents can get angry up to the limit that is necessary for correction, betterment and character building of children”.

If anger is out of love then parents need to (1) give space to children and understand them, (2) avoid imposing rather convince to make them understand/ comprehend, (3) keep purpose in mind, that is  correcting them (4) keep consequence in mind, that is  children’s betterment, not self-catharsis and displacement of own anger as Participant 1 said and gave his own daily life example to explain this point:

..The point is to correct the child, not to ruin the relationship. Keep your goal in mind. Instead of being emotional, focus on their correction, listen to their opinions, and value them ..my goal is not supposed to express my anger but to correct them.

Islam guides us to be kind and compassionate with children. As parents, one’s prime responsibility is to ensure that children are learning the best so parents can show anger to inculcate Islamic values in children, to teach them ethical and moral values, to correct their behaviors, to train (tarbiyat) and discipline them. Parents need to keep purpose of correction in mind if anger is out of love.

Spousal relationship makes a family unit peaceful or quarrelsome. Islamic teachings stressed tolerance and kindness in this relationship. Treating wife with kindness is one of the best moral virtues that Prophet (SAW) always manifested. He advised people to show best manners. In this regard, a hadith was quoted by Participant 12:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The most perfect believer in respect of faith is he who is best of them in manners”. (Sunan Abi Dawud, 4682)

Couples can have disputes and get angrywith each other due to various reasons. One reason of anger in couples can be difference of nature and opinions, which is quite normal among two people living together under one roof. For such differences, Quran guides in the following way:

وَعَاشِرُوْهُنَّ بِالْمَعْـرُوْفِ ۚ فَاِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوْهُنَّ فَـعَسٰٓى اَنْ تَكْـرَهُوْا شَيْئًا وَّيَجْعَلَ اللّـٰهُ فِيْهِ خَيْـرًا كَثِيْـرًا (سورۃ نساء، آیت ۱۹)

“And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good”. (Surah Nissa, verse 19)

One of the reasons of clash between a couple is the excessive burden of work or lack of division of responsibilities. Wife’s primary task as per Islamic guidelines is to train and look after children but when they start preoccupying themselves with excessive duty of job, their level of tolerance decreases; hence, results in increased level of anger according to Participant 8:

Earning is as much obligatory as prayers for a male while a woman manages the household, just like Hazrat Fatima (RA) handled the housework and Hazrat Ali (RA) managed the work outside. If both need to go outside, they should divide the tasks because if the pressure and burden of work is too much, and both come home exhausted, it’s natural that they will get angry.

Anger may also be caused when both partners, mostly wives, assume that the other person knows their unexpressed thoughts as Participant 4 shared:

Husband and wife both often assume that the other person knows or should know what they are thinking. Wives, in particular, expect their husbands to understand their feelings without saying anything. When that doesn’t happen, they often get angry with each other.

Islam suggests to guide through love and advice wives. If it doesn’t bring positive change in them then separate bed, a beat slightly for guidance (not on face and leaving no mark) and still if it doesn’t work then one representative from each family of husband and wife need to guide the angry one as few participants (5, 6, 8) quoted the following Quranic verse:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other, and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection. If you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both want to set things right, Allah will bring about reconciliation between them. Allah is All- Knowing, is All- Aware. (Surah Nisa, verse 34, 35)

Thus, the purpose of showing anger is to guide and to correct the wife. Yet, one needs to be mindful of the limits of anger because if husband gets excessively angry and rude with his wife then it is quite possible that wife becomes more rigid as Participant 1 and 13 quoted the following hadith: “Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So, if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness” (Sahih Bukhari#5184)

Quran directs us those extreme decisions, such as divorce, which should not be taken in state of anger as it affects one’s wisdom. Participant 3 said in this regard that: “The Prophet (PBUH) said that divorce is the most disliked permissible act in the sight of Allah”.

In most relationships, rule of "one at a time" works well. It means that refrain from reacting when one of the partners gets angry as Participant 4 and 8 said: “If one person is angry, the other should remain calm. For example, between husband and wife or parent and child, they should agree that only one person speaks at a time”.

We advise women that sometimes a person can be upset or have a bad day. They might be tired or stressed, so in such situations, it’s better to remain silent. Similarly, if the woman is angry, the man should remain calm. If one is hot-tempered, the other should be soft. This is how relationships work.

Differences in couple relation has been faced by companions of Prophet (SAW). Quoting an incident of Hazrat Umer (RA), Participant 8 highlighted the point that one needs to understand the base/ root cause of anger displayed by spouse.

There was a companion who frequently argued with his wife. One day, he thought about complaining to and seeking advice from the Caliph, Hazrat Umar (RA). … Hazrat Umar (RA) giving his own example explained that, "Look, my wife is my washerwoman; she washes my clothes, she cleans the house, she prepares my food and also takes care of my children. If she gets a little angry, what’s the big deal? After all, working makes a person irritable." This shows how to think and approach situations, reflecting the teachings and character building of the Prophet (PBUH).

Islam emphasizes on having congenial relationships between couple but there can be various reasons between couple discord, such as differences of nature, opinion, excessive work burden, and others. Islam directs the ways to treat wives if they show defiance and even in case of extreme conflicts, guides the ways to get apart. As described above, anger in a partner relationship can be managed following ‘one at a time’ rule, understanding the reason of partner’s anger, and keeping Allah’s pleasure in mind.

Discussion

The current study found that scholars shared their Islamic knowledge to emphasize that Islam has directed us to have accepting, tolerating, and forgiving behavior with servants. Explaining this point, different scholars have quoted examples of Prophet (SAW) and his companions. The current findings can be supported by existing evidence, for instance a hadith reported by Muslim (Muslim – Hadith 231) described Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as the most merciful person in the world in terms of relationships and forgiveness. This explains why Muslim teachers are advised or instructed to exercise patience and tactful behavior towards their students and not to be sarcastic or act in a cruel way as seen in the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (Sahih Bukhari, Book 3, Hadith 69). Judges are expected to be fair and impartial, guided by the principles of justice outlined in the Quran and Hadith (Quran 4:58).

While there has been a very popular viewpoint that anger is a necessary tool for many leadership and authoritative roles. Some cultural critics take anger as an appropriate response to a wrongdoing. A political approach, populism takes into account that angry people lead in politics (Lloyd, 2021; Peters, 2012). This part of western school of thought doesn't align completely with Islamic concept since, Quran and Hadith show that we as human beings are accountable for our acts in front of Allah. As He would ask us for people who are under us according to the concept of رعایا in Islam. As per Islamic guidelines, characteristics that are required in a person having authority include tolerance, wise decision-making, humility, and self-awareness with servants. However, just like western viewpoints, Islam also entails that a leader or person in authority needs to show his powers for justice and making a peace-making society.

Western and Islamic concept overlap in explaining the source of anger in authority. According to Western researches (Holmes, 2004; Shapiro, 2016), the source of leader's anger is usually the ego and found the need that instead of acting as one would, when angry or upset, it is essential to encourage people to take positive and constructive actions instead of letting them indulge in instances of venting their moral outrage. It was highlighted that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), even as an authoritative figure, was a man of peace and always remained calm and composed in even the most extreme situations (Lings, 1984).

Cognitive-behavior therapy techniques of West guide towards the ways of controlling anger. This aligns with the study's findings since, according to scholars, one can control anger by remembering its consequences and giving self-reminders of the rewards and punishments of controlling and showing anger as guided by Allah and Prophet (SAWW). Previous studies also showed usefulness of self-reminders to manage anger (Lyman, 2004; Walitzer et al., 2015).

Parenting has always remained a complex phenomenon that is being explained by Western frameworks. However, most of these frameworks emphasized on the way parents' own expression of anger affects children (Fetsch et al., 2008; Miller, 2018). The gap in the literature that where and when parental anger is required was filled by this current research. Islam guides parents to be kind and facilitating to children but they can show anger if they find that their politeness is not helping them fulfil their major responsibility of character building. Other reasons that can be the base of parents' anger is teaching children the practices of religion along with social and ethical values. Previous researches posited a significant reason of parental anger is their disobedience (Eisenberg, 2008; Williams, 2017), as well as displeasure at perceived disrespect or disobedience whereas current study emphasizes that Islam teaches us to show anger when children are showing Allah's disobedience.

Results found that in parent's role, it is advised to keep purpose in mind. If purpose is correction and care and love of children, then parents can show anger till the level that it serves the purpose. Study highlighted that right expression of parental anger is very important. Previous works by Muslim scholars also highlighted those Islamic teachings that mandated parents to display appropriate behaviors, especially patience and self-control (Al-Ghazali, 2015).

Scholars in the current study shared that parents can show anger for disciplining their children. The parental position involves a protective impulse and a desire to exercise discipline, which can increase the emotional response when such goals are threatened (Šimić et al., 2021). According to the research by Hosokawa and Katsura (2018), parental rage is typically caused by children's behavior that parents consider to be challenging their authority or violating family rules.

This study provides a unique perspective on anger in the context of Islam and highlights crucial issues that individuals often experience in their practical life. Highlighting the practical issues, they shared that laymen who used to visit them to seek help for anger shared that the major reason of anger was excessive burden of work, high expectations, and lack of division of responsibilities. Previous researches (Lockwood, 2003; Parasuraman & Greenhaus, 2002) documented that segment of the workforce may be subject to unique work/family pressures, yet often have few sources of support that leads to frustration and suppressed anger. Western researches mostly emphasized on perceived breaches of trust and emotional neglect, which may threaten the marriage stability and enjoyment (Gottman & Levenson, 2000).

Current research highlighted the teachings of Islam regarding spouse and perspective that couples can have differences that may lead to anger. These differences are even endorsed by Quran stating to find betterment in these differences. Several researches highlighted the difference in nature and anger levels of people (Potegal & Novaco, 2009). Current research indicated that it is imperative for a spousal relation that both partners control their anger. Previous research suggested that if anger in a couple relationship is suppressed or expressed in an inappropriate way, can become damaging for the relationship (Holmes, 2012).

Overall Islamic literature shows that there are strong encouraging messages about mercy, kindness, and consideration for one's spouse. Literature shows that Prophet Mohammed (SAW) used to solve conflicts and disagreements through reconciliation with any of his wives who happens to have issues with him and they are expected to soothe disagreements as well by understanding each other (Ali, 2004).

Islam emphasizes on giving respect to women, in fact Islam opened the doorway to women respect and rights at time when they faced oppression (Ahmad et al., 2022). Whereas, West now talks more about women empowerment by providing them same and equal rights (Kabir, 2007). The above results showed that Islam gives women more protection through men by making husbands responsible for food and shelter of their wives. Unlike Western viewpoint, Islam makes men/husbands responsible for their wives, term known as نگہبان in Islam, and thus they can exhibit anger up to desirable limit (as guided in Islam) to train and guide their wives (Ali, 2012).

Islam directs the ways to treat wives if they show defiance and even in case of extreme conflicts. Islam also guides the way to get apart Among few ways to manage anger as reported by researches were building trust and overcoming emotional neglect (Gottman & Levenson, 2000). Again, in this role, keeping Allah's obedience in mind at time of anger was found to be key factor.

This study can clear misconceptions regarding anger in different roles and can give clear perspective on when, where, and under what conditions Islam allows and, in some cases, even promotes anger.

Conclusion of the Study

The study explored the ways Islam directs to manage anger in different interpersonal and social roles specifically highlighting the role of authoritative figure, parent, and spouse. Generally in all the roles, anger limits and expression should be according to Islamic guidelines. Specifically discussing all the roles, study highlighted that in authority, one's anger should be just to ensure justice and practice of Allah's orders and keep in mind Allah's authority over humans to ensure that one doesn't cross the limits. In parents' role, Islam allows such anger within limits that helps children in their character building, moral development, and disciplining. In spousal role, anger is usually due to excessive expectations or difference in nature so, one needs to have clear communication and follow Islamic principles of tolerance, kindness, and Allah's pleasure rather than satisfaction of one's own ego. The study gave an insight about Islamic perspective but lacks in exploring techniques and ways to manage anger thus, a future study focusing on management can be conducted.

Strengths of the study

• It covers anger from different lens, that is according to one's roles and position in the society.
• Accuracy of Quranic scripts and Hadiths were assured by rechecking it from original sources.

Limitations and Suggestions

• Comprehensive work of Muslim scholars, such as Al-Balkhi, Imam Ghazali, and others could have also been incorporated to get more insight. Therefore, it is suggested to add their works for deeper and comprehensive understanding of the emotion.
• Less emphasis has been given on the techniques to manage dysfunctional anger. So, management of anger in these roles according to Islamic perspective also needs to be explored more.

Implications of the Study

• The study gives a socio-cultural and religious perspective so people's issue of anger, which can't only be viewed and addressed by purely western perspective.
• It can help clinical psychologists to better educate and normalize clients if they have myths and wrong concepts regarding anger from Islamic perspective.
• It would give practitioners a guideline to manage anger issues of the clients that have Islamic background and having any of the above discussed or relevant social role.
• Administrators and leaders can implement and practice Islamic guidelines regarding their position and authority.
• It can help counsel the couples since anger and ego issues are most common in marital discords.
• Parent-child communication can be improved by giving parents comprehensive guidelines regarding anger.

CONFLICT OF INTEREST

The author of the manuscript has no financial or non-financial conflict of interest in the subject matter or materials discussed in this manuscript

DATA AVAILABILITY STATEMENT

The data associated with this study will be provided by the corresponding author upon request.

FUNDING DETAILS

No funding has been received for this research.